Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
