Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
