When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
