we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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