I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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