I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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