I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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