My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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