You don't have asthma, your pregnant
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
