She's JV to your varsity
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
