He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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