I have demons in me.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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