i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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