how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
