she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
