Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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