I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
