Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
