i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
