Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
