***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
