U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
