You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I have post one night stand depression
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