and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
