We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
