I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
