You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
