Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
sarcasm needs its own font
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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