Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wish my penis had an off switch
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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