Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
