I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
