Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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