I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
