My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
