we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
