Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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