my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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