I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
