And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
