i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
