so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He kissed a someone with a penis
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
