So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
