I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
