i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
