well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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