I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
