the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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