So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
