break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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