I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
