I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
