Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
