Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
