You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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